I feel like I’m swimming in the ocean. The water looked so inviting, and I had wanted to do this for so many years, that I just dove in and started swimming. The white sunlight is warm on my head and back, 
the blue water running down my sides and on my arms and legs is cool and refreshing. And I’m enjoying being here. But I’m out here alone. I can’t see the shore, and I know I’m too far out to turn back. There’s only water. I hope there’s an island somewhere just over the horizon in the direction I’m swimming, but I don’t know if there is. If I stop to rest, I’ll sink. So, I’m swimming along, enjoying myself, but worried that the further I go, the more isolated I become, with no tangible evidence that I will get to the place I set out for. We’ll see what happens.
June 26, 2010
June 20, 2010
Tried to drive the Alpine Loop today. When I got to the mouth of American Fork Canyon, it was blocked by an accident or something, the line of cars stopped as far up as I could see. 
So, I drove down to 800 North in Orem and over to Provo Canyon instead, out the other side through Heber, up over Summit where it was 10 degrees cooler, past Park City, and back down I-80 into SLC. Took less time than I thought it would. Very green up in the mountains. Not the really lush dark green of MN, but very green for here. And beautiful all the way. Have to do the loop another day.
Got a very nice Father’s Day gift of a MegaPlex gift card from Josh, Gavin, and Sarah, and when I got back from my drive they had called. Sorry I missed them!
June 19, 2010
The Federal Communications Commission has voted to start the process of re-classifying high-speed Internet access as a telecommunications service, which could pave the way for adopting rules that prevent service providers from giving priority to some types of content traveling through their networks. The five-person commission voted to collect public comments about a new framework that will make Internet service providers subject to some of the same non-discrimination rules as telephone companies. FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski has been a vocal supporter of 
requiring Internet providers to treat all similar Web traffic equally, an issue known as net neutrality. Such rules would prevent telecommunications companies from charging websites for speedier delivery of their content. By re-classifying broadband, the FCC would have direct authority to enforce net neutrality. The FCC ruled in 2008 that Comcast, the nation's largest cable and Internet service provider, had improperly discriminated against Internet content by blocking customers from using a file-sharing program. Signaling support for broadband service providers, the supreme court ruled this year that the FCC lacked authority from Congress to make such a ruling. Republican opponents said "the proposed new regime will place the heavy thumb of government on the scale of a free market" and stunt innovation and investment. Those concerns were echoed by Internet service provider trade groups and other Republicans. The debate over net neutrality has pitted broadband service providers, including Comcast and AT&T, against Internet companies that extol the value of free-flowing Web traffic and an open Internet.
June 18, 2010
No matter how official it was and no matter how heinous his crimes, this was a despicable, unjustified act. No government has the right to kill its own citizens. And the glee with which it was done, and the posturing, hypocritical self-righteousness with which Utahans defend it, makes it even more despicable. I am sickened to my core, and deeply ashamed of the state in which I live.
June 16, 2010
Can’t believe it’s been 10 days since the last post. Been a little slack in keeping this blog up. Focused on the book and articles I’m trying to get done while I still have a little money to live on, so that takes pretty much all my attention.
From July 1884:
Sun 6th
Attended the Funeral of Elder D. [O.] Calder Bishop Atwood. A. M. & G. Q. Cannon spoke. the latter at length. most beautifully. Also attended evening meeting after which the Bishop came down and performed the ceremony which made Fredrick Atkins & Alice husband & wife, There was no one invited except our own folks,
Mon 7th
--- As Alice was going to give a party in the eve, we all worked hard to make it a success, Al. looked lovely and the party would have been a success, but for the absence of the bride groom, who was compelled to go out to the Lake and play for the officers to dance, He came a few moments after the company had dispersed,
June 7, 2010
This is your brain on computers. Scientists say juggling e-mail, phone calls, and other incoming information can change how people think and behave. They say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information. These play to a primitive impulse to respond to immediate opportunities and threats. The stimulation provokes excitement — a dopamine squirt — that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored. The resulting distractions can have deadly consequences, as when cell phone-wielding drivers and train engineers cause wrecks. And for millions of people, these urges can inflict nicks and cuts on creativity and deep thought, interrupting work and family life. While many people say multitasking makes them more productive, research shows otherwise. Heavy multi-taskers actually have more trouble focusing and shutting out irrelevant information, scientists say, and they experience more stress. And scientists are discovering that even after the multitasking ends, fractured thinking and lack of focus persist. In other words, this is also your brain off computers.
Even at home, people consume 12 hours of media a day on average, when an hour spent with, say, the Internet and TV simultaneously counts as two hours. That compares with five hours in 1960, say researchers at the University of California, San Diego. Computer users visit an average of 40 Web sites a day, according to research by RescueTime, which offers time-management tools. As computers have changed, so has the understanding of the human brain. Until 15 years ago, scientists thought the brain stopped developing after childhood. Now they understand that its neural networks continue to develop, influenced by things like learning skills. And the idea that information overload causes distraction was supported by more and more research. Researchers worry that constant digital stimulation creates attention problems for children with brains that are still developing, who already struggle to set priorities and resist impulses. The ultimate risk of heavy technology use is that it diminishes empathy by limiting how much people engage with one another, even in the same room. The way we become more human is by paying attention to each other. It shows how much you care. Empathy is essential to the human condition. But research indicates we are at an inflection point. A significant fraction of people’s experiences are now fragmented.
June 6, 2010
From November 1884:
Wed 12th
Have been riding this afternoon, called on Rie Dougall, Mrs Emily Richards, Sister Mira, Amy Burnham, & Louie White. My dear little boy Lou was with me and seemed to enjoy the ride very much.
Thurs 13th
Wrote a letter, My little boy seemed poorly and feverish, a not unusual occurrence with him but we did not consider he was in any danger, until evening when he took with Croup, which worried me some, but I never dreamed but I could break it up as I had always been successful before, in handling that disease, so I took him to bed by my side and watched, and waited upon him through the night,
Friday 14th
Lou was worse, His Father administered to him, I worked with him as well as he would let me, being very averse to taking anything, but he constantly grew worse, At noon I sent for the elders, Bro George Coulam came and administered to him. but with out any apparent relief following, Dr Pratt came in the evening and thought it might be his lungs, but he would not allow her to get near enough to him to tell much, When his Father came home at night, he could see that the child was very bad, and as he told me afterwards, had some misgivings concerning him, We two sat up all night slept but little, could not see any improvement, Toward morning he asked me to sing a little song he had heard a little boy sing at the Primary Conference the week before, which pleased him greatly and he had sung it all the week until taken sick, I sang it repeatedly, as he seemed to enjoy it so well, and would keep asking me to sing it again, In the morning we sent up and got Bro’s Macmaster & Brighton to come and administer to him, This seemed to annoy him, Afterward he coughed up two or three mouthfulls of yellow phlegm, which seemed to relieve him for a time, but he soon breathed as hard as ever, Through the persuasions of Sister Mira, who was greatly worried I sent for Dr S. B. Young, but before he came Dr Pratt had recommended lime for him to breathe which we got and made a tent of quilts, in which I stayed and steamed with him,
When Seymour Carnehe said he was a “sick boy” which fact I well knew, but still thought he must be healed, We kept up the lime at intervals, all day, and night, I also kept giving something to sicken and loosen the phlegm He would vomit once in a while but did not get any permanent relief, In the evening, he began to breathe still harder. which alarmed me, I sent for the Bishop who came and administered but apparently without much faith,
We, His Father and I sat up again, could see that he was growing worse, I never spent such a night of agony in my life, and would lkie to be spared ever suffering so again, if it was agreable to the will of God, The thought of having to give up that noble spirit in whom I had made myself such promises of future pride and happiness, seemed more than, I could do, and more bitter still, was the terrible fear, that should he die, he would grow worse and worse until he would strangle to death, It seemed to me that my nature could not bear so great an agony, and Oh, how I plead with my Father, to let him die in peace if he must go, During the night he asked me over & over again to sing that same little song, “Old Robin is dead and in his grave’, which I did although my heart was bursting with grief, I said to him “Louie you think that is the prettiest little song you ever heard dont you” He bowed his head yes, At 4, A, M, I called all the folks up to request them to pray to the Lord that he might die easy and not strangle, then sent Maggie & Carline after Dr S. B. Young. to see if he could do any thing to relieve him, In the mean time, Mother & I ran up to bro, Felt to see if he had any tar thinking. the smoke of tar might relive him, He came down and administered to him, and seemed to have faith, Dr Young came about 5 oclock, From that time he began to breathe easier, asked for a drink of water about 6, and took good drink, from that time on he continued to breathe easier, and at or near 7 he passed away without a struggle, and although, it seemed as all light and happiness went out of my life with him, yet I was grateful to God that he had answered our paryers and let him die so sweetly, After he died he looked as if he were only sleeping, I washed his precious little body myself, feeling that I could not give up that last sacred right to another, Dr Young would take hold and help me a little, What a sad, sad Sabbath that was to me; the saddest I ever knew, It seemed so hard to have to put anything so lively in the earth, out of sight, to decay, That lovely boy that had been the joy of my life since ever he was born, yet I must submit,
Mon 17th
It stormed, as it did the day before, but that was nothing to me, If there had been two suns shining, it could not have made the earth cheerful to me, for was not my Son, the light of my life, lying cold and still, The funeral took place at 2. p. m. Bro J. E. Taylor delivered one of the most beautiful, and comforting sermons, it was ever my lot to hear. The Bishop, and Cou’s J. H. Felt & R, Morris, each made a few kind and comforting remarks. I did feel comforted to a great degree, and felt that I would be Sinning to nurse my grief, after the things of God had been so beautifully portrayed, There was a large number of sympathising friends in attendance, and the choir sang beautifully. The last piece hymn, “There is sweet rest in heaven”, was one that was always a great favorate with him, he sang it often himself, and would ask me to sing it for him, I wondered that I could hear it without my heart being wrung with anguish, but I believe he was near me and rejoiced so much in his deliverance and rest, that I was not permitted to grieve while hearing it, The rest of the week until Friday I remained close at home reading and reflecting
June 1, 2010
More than half of our income taxes this year will go to the military. The charts below (click for larger versions) show how our income tax dollars were spent in the year just completed — FY2009 — which ended last September 30 (data from Budget of the United States Government: Historical Tables Fiscal Year 2011, Table 8.7). The government sent $657 billion or 53.1% of all discretionary funds to the military. This represents an average of about $5,615 from each of the 117 million households in the US. In the current year (FY2010), the government estimates that $714 billion will be spent on the military. This is more than twice as much as the $295 billion spent in FY2000 (73% more when adjusted for inflation). Despite these gigantic past increases, President Obama’s budget calls for further increasing the military budget in FY2011 to $744 billion.
These charts show the “discretionary” part of the federal budget — that is, the part that Congress and the President directly allocate each year (with the funds derived from our income taxes, corporation taxes, excise taxes, estate and gift taxes, and other miscellaneous taxes). Is this a great country, or what?
